Random

Hey everyone! I just wanted to remind you guys of my snapchat, Twitter and Instagram information and it's all @ chrissycharisse! Please make sure you follow me and keep up with me! ❤️ Stay GOLDEN 💛

Depression 😔

Hey guys! I know it has been a long time since I have updated , but as you know it's my senior year in high school and I'm totally swamped with everything! But I decided to post today just to let you all know how I have been feeling recently. I have been going through a lot lately and just feel like you all need an update. I have had a job the past few months at a local hospital and it drained the mess out of me. I enjoyed all of the learning I was exposed to but I would be so exhausted when I would get home at 10 after having been at school for 8 hours. Then, I started to find myself struggling with my confidence more and more and it started to affect how I viewed my friendships and how much were they really worth to me. I started to feel I was giving more into each friendship than the others and I started to get very fustrated by this and very disappointed. I decided to take a break from my friends and started to evaluate what I really wanted out of life. I found myself many nights crying myself to sleep and just being unhappy. Then, I had one recent from the past pop back up into my life and I started to feel like having friends weren't so bad. She helped me gain the confidence I needed to actually confront my other friends. But too my disappointed it was too late. They already had moved on and continued their lives and pretty much gave up on their friendships with me. I can not explain the incredible sorrow I felt when I this happens to me. All I could think about was that this is suppose to be one of the best times of my life and I'm dealing with this. I cried everyday when I got home from school and just wanted to stay home everyday and not have to go to school and put up a front, but I did since I was so ready to just graduate. It was so hard seeing their faces everyday because of how hurt I really was. I talked to each of them and I felt like we had got some place but I still found and am still finding myself excluded from various activities that involve the whole group. I just felt alone and I don't think none of them have truly experienced that but I can't speak for everyone. More than anything I was dissapointed and still kind of hurt by how my best friend handled the situation k just felt and still feel maybe she could stand up for me and they may listen but she does not want to get involved. Apart of me understands this but the other believes that my best friend would want to help , but I know nothing anymore. I am sharing this today because, I want to let you all know it's OKAY to be confused and alone. We all go through this in life and it's normal. Sometimes it is need in order for us to find our way in this life. And I'm just starting to come to terms with this myself. Of course I don't want to lose my whole circle of friends , but at the same time if God has other plans for me I will follow them. I know that the road to happiness is through Him and I am willing to make the rough journey for Him. Even though I still have hurt feelings,sorrow, and disappointment. I am able to say that my God is an AWESOME GOD! And he loves me no matter what and I will never stop loving him! I know he will keep blessing me and guiding me through this journey and many other journeys in my life. He gives me nothing I can't handle so he will definelty make a way. No one can steal your joy! And I am declaring today that I will be happy and live for Him  and let my joy show and shine for everyone and anyone who is near me. The storm is not over and I can't wait to see what else is in store. Just make sure that you keep your faith and you will prosper! Thanks you guys for supporting me! And as always STAY GOLDEN!